We need an office boy?

Song for the mood: Brain Damage – Pink Floyd

“We need an office boy around here…”

A conversation I witnessed in office yesterday. So, my office (I’m an intern) is a small place, people wise. We are 15 of us, roughly, and all of us sit in one big room. The place is newly bought, and quite a few renovations and additions to the office place are going on. About 3 days back we had a security system installed and so now we need access cards to get in. Owing to the new system, a few people were left knocking the door to get in, since they didn’t have the access cards (the cards came yesterday morning).

“Wasn’t some office boy going to join? What happened with him?”

“No, he didn’t turn up even the first day …”

15 people … 1 room … what is the office boy going to do here? Ok, so now go figure: when there are a set of access cards for the security system, and you don’t have an access card, what do you do? Simple, you go and get yourself one of the access cards …

“I am going to remain stuck outside … (casual laugh) … We need someone to answer that door …”

Still clueless … anyways … me and few others felt later that we can get the office boy a laptop and teach him some stuff, simply because there is nothing else he can do here (we feel so). The risk is getting a mail from the office boy in the morning saying, ‘WFH today’ (WFH --> Work From Home)

“Hmmm … we can get a door bell installed …”

“… Oh yeah, doorbell would be cheaper…”

Sorry Mr. Office boy. Better luck next time ...

... eyes of the Beholder ... ears of the Listener

Song for the mood: Yeh hain Mumbai meri jaan - Mohammed Rafi Saahab

Yesterday evening I witnessed an interesting conversation between two people on a bus while on the way back from work. The 'guy who was doing most of the talking' was sitting next to me and was chatting away with the 'guy who was doing most of the listening' who was in the seat just in front (he was looking back ... now read on).

For the most part, I could not understand what they were talking about, because they were talking in Kannada. I can't make sense of more than 10-15 words of Kannada; my vocabulary is limited to oota, maadi, yenoo, beku, beda, illa, yeshtu, channagideya and some simple questions like yenoo helaitidiya? and yenoo madtaidiya? alongwith some counting: wundu, yerdu, mooru STOP. Whew! I need some water now ...

Anyways, so the conversation the way I understood it was a comparison between Bengalooru and other prime cities of India, moreover the references to Mumbai were dominant ... "Mumbai blah blah samudra beda" and "local train beda" (beda means I don't want ... wonder who gifted him the sea). In the very little that I could garner or grasp from his talk was that Bangalore ... sorry, Bengalooru has people from so many different linguistic backgrounds like Malayalam, Telugu, Tamil apart from Kannadigas and people here speak English also. Meanwhile, Mumbai has people who speak Marathi and Hindi only and English is a rarity. Marathi yenoo helaitidiya? Numbers simple ... ek, do, teen, char (these are in Hindi mister, and not Marathi)... three-hundred illa (illa means nothing) ... I guess he was saying that he doesn't know how to say three-hundred in Marathi and not that Marathi doesn't have a word for the number three-hundred :-). Yes, and there was an interesting comment Idli beda, Bengalooru best ... Mumbai idli bad ...

The comparisons continued ... Mumbai yeshtu sweat (yeshtu means how much... I think). He also ... ahem ... mentioned more stuff, words which I will refrain from using here forget elaborating. A sore point, since he sounded angry at it, was about the police in Mumbai ... his hand actions when he spoke about them suggested the following: catch by collar -> handcuff -> kick -> beat with danda -> throw in jail -> lock and then ... beat.

Well, one thing is clear, the person is very happy to be in his own home-town which is good for him. His views about other cities ... well, he would've probably seen a small part of Mumbai city whenever he was there and judging by all that he said, he found traveling, communicating and eating to be a problem ... which is the case with any one going to a new city. I doubt he went anywhere outside Kurla (a place in Mumbai, and something he constantly mentioned when speaking) and hence his ideas about Mumbai are pertaining to that place alone.
Any Mumbaikar will tell you that these views are lopsided, but the fact remains that to a newcomer who probably got beaten up or witnessed someone getting beaten up by the Mumbai Police, all this would've caused little comfort :-P

Not too different is what happened to me when I came to Bangalore nearly 18 months ago ... food, language and travel were a pain. But thankfully for me, I was and am still living in a comfortable hostel with like minded students around me many of them from Bangalore, courteous enough to give short guided tours of the city along with adding 10-15 Kannada words to my vocabulary (hee hee!). The guy on the bus probably had not such a great experience ... and I never go beaten up by the Police.

Everything around us can be understood in so many ways at so many different levels ... it depends on what level of understanding prevails in the end. I can say with great confidence that his views on Mumbai idli would've changed had he eaten in some Udipi restaurants of Churchgate or for that matter tasted a wada-paav ... but that was beyond the experience that he had. Just for the record, in Mumbai you get superb South-Indian food, again, looking at it the way I look at it.

The title ... in its completion is ... Observing lies in the eyes of the Beholder and Understanding lies in the ears of the listener. Given my limited understanding of Kannada, who knows, maybe I interpreted whatever he was saying in the not so correct way ... or did I?

Any other day...

Song for the mood: Running to Stand Still - U2

Over a month into the internship now, awaiting my first paycheck. Have quite many plans what to do with that monneey at least whatever remains in hand after treating friends - the way the mathematics works out I have to give 4 parties atleast - then something for my parents and sis (I have no idea what to buy) and then yours truly. I feel it would be a better idea to wait for the second paycheck and then buy for me an electric guitar, yes that is what I am gonna buy. First paycheck ... wow ... didn't think I would be wondering about that anytime soon, but I am eagerly awaiting it; especially since everyone else has already gotten their cut. Whew!

Lot has happened in the week; Ravikanth and Durga (friends and classmates here at IIIT-B) started taking guitar lessons from me this friday. I hope they stick to it, especially since the first 2 months tend to be the difficult ones when you are finding your touch on the fretboard. Speaking of guitaring, my own hopes of playing everyday seem to be going nowhere. Fact am hoping the two of them continue coming for guitar lessons so that I too can play along...

Today I played cricket for Rakesh's team in the ongoing intra-college sports event SPANDAN; I was the substitute for the team, and with Ranga away for the day I was drafted (ahem) into the side - no fancy show, Mr. Santosh knocked my door half an hour before the match and told me, "Get ready you are playing today" - and it turned out to be a good match. I bowled an over, thankfully not bowling too many wides (which I am famous for) but our batsmen had earlier done enough by belting the opposition for 104 runs in 8 overs. We won by a convincing 48 runs. In the afternoon as a last minute entry me and Ravikanth decided to try our hand at Doubles Carrom. We actually won the first board and pocketed 6 points but finally lost 22-13 to Durga and Reddy in a marathon 6 boards session. (Ravikanth was considering a forfeit at the end of the 6 match, irrespective of the result, citing "I am getting bored" as an explanation) Well, alls well that ends well.

Weekends and work don't match ... all my efforts (snore) to do some weekend work are buried Friday afternoon and are reborn not before Monday afternoon. Sigh ... will see how that goes ...

Here's to just another day ... cheers!

Signing off ...

My experiences with ... arguments ...

Song for the mood: Paranoid - Megadeth

Yes ... paranoid. That's what my friends call me sometimes ... which is not true. I just happen to - think more ... :-)

Ok! Coming to the topic, well the point is I like to have small 'verbal jousts' i.e. debates or discussions albeit in a sporting way with a touch of good natured humor in between. I think it is a great and refreshing way to pass time. The recent most debate I had was with Vijay and Santosh a few days back - the debate aside, they were quite sporting.

It is fun to argue, sometimes for another reason too; to observe how other people argue. Yup! It's great fun!

For instance there are the conservatives , "... well I agree with you fully but you see ... blah blah I am so boring blah blah... but I still agree to your first point ... ".

Their opposites are the ones who go like, "... fk u dude, whatever! I just don't give a shit! ... I know we are speaking the same shit but fk u anyways! ... ".

The truly most boring are the pausers, "... So I think its better to ... ummm ... hmmm what was it that I was thinking? ... ? ... ? ... (on hold) ... (I just took a bathroom break I hope you don't mind) ... (still thinking) ... yes! better to do it this way than ... (snore snore ... eh! ... sorry, what?) ... " Dude, first you put a guy to sleep then you rudely bring him to his (non)senses!

Some people I absolutely refrain from arguing with, after the first showdown, "... Oh you think I am wrong is it? ... Hmpff! ... now you did it! ... see my cheeks are puffed which means I am angry ... now my arms are crossed and I'm not looking at you ... so you better apologize and say I am the king of the world! ... I'm waiting ... I'm waiting ... ". I am affirmatively scared of these species ... the repercussions are ... nevermind :-)

Backseat drivers are just as annoying in this context; the one's who will interject a perfectly good argument and then insist to one, or sometimes both, of the people involved as to what they should say next. Well, and if you happen to ignore this gentleman it only encourages him further ... check it for yourself. Try out the following: set a trap for one such guy if you know any, and then when he starts giving the ideas, you and your partner in crime turn on him! You will get the laugh of your life on seeing his reactions!

There are others ... the spectators, the clowns, the Einsteins etc but they can more or less be traced to one of these elaborated here (he he!). And although I steer clear of the cry-babies, sometimes for the sake of a good argument I just don't give a damn!

All in all, all of these perfectly blend into this great confused world of ours. So ... what do you think? Am I right about this or am I wrong? Want to argue about it? :-)

New year resolutions? What's that?

Song for the mood: Same old song and dance - Aerosmith

It's the first weekend of 2008, am back in college after half a December worth of vacation (wanted more ... badly) and things look ... well ... the same :-). Which is good, coz there was nothing wrong with anything in the first place :-P

This is about the time of the year, any year, when funny things come to view. The foremost of those happens to be, "Hey, I made a New Year Resolution!" (Let's call it NYR for the rest of the post). Now, I like the concept of 'New Year', if nothing else for a chance to spend good time with friends, have a nice dinner, and getting to see TV shows showing people do amazing(ly stupid) things to catch the first rays of light of the year. Wow ... go my species, go!

Ok! Coming back to NYRs. So, a couple days back I heard a 'foodie' friend of mine refusing to go to the best ice-cream joint in town, saying he has made an NYR to not eat ice-cream ... because he is on a diet ... and ice-cream is his biggest weakness as far as food is concerned. So, he won't have ice-cream anymore. Knowing this guy and his liking for ice-cream it is not a mere resolution it is a revolution, however, I personally am gonna be on a spy-watch to see how long his resolution lasts!

NYRs don't last. I think they are just extended hangovers of New Year party mania ... a lingering thought carried on for a week into the next year of something that you wanted to do long ago but couldn't or didn't do then. Point is, why wait till the New Year's eve to do something? It's not like the earth flips on its axis on this day!
"Hmmm ... if I am on the right spot on the planet on this New Year's eve, maybe 20 kilos will just fly off my body into space!"

The following are a list of NYRs I have seen friends make ... and needless to say none of them lasted!
1. Not to swear at people any more - I remember this one clearly because my friend made it in the following way, "F**k dude! I will not bl***y swear at anyone anymore!" Didn't help ... he got into a quarrel with someone a few days later at the railway station and came back to life ...
2. Lose weight - The most popular of all! If you want to lose weight, it would help not eating at the new year party like it's your last day on earth ...
3. Quit a habit (munching, drinking, smoking ... some 'ing') - My question is how? Abstaining only makes it worse for even those 12 hours that the NYR lasts!
4. Start exercising - my personal favorite non-lasting NYR. The advent of the TV remote killed the last bit of exercising that you could get by at least getting up to change the channel. And, if you know how irritating it is to call someone for a jog, morning or evening, you'll know what I mean.
5. Become a vegetarian - If you know someone who has done this, try the following; at dinner in some restaurant say the following sentence three times aloud for everyone, "Wow! This chicken is tasty, right?" If becoming a vegetarian is an NYR for that person then he will be ... angry ... criticize you for mocking his steely resolve ... and the next time you meet to eat, will dig into a nice juicy kebab ... "What? You wanna say something?" ... no I was admiring your table manners ...
6. Start an activity (reading, music, chess etc) - if you never did this activity before, what's gonna prompt you to start?

... so on and so forth. NYRs are just another irony of being an 'intelligent creation'. But I sincerely hope the trend continues, which in all probability will ... we need NYRs and NYRers to show us the funny side of being a human ... Happy New Year again!

(All right, all right! I am going to do a few things myself but not as an NYR - I wanna get my hands on some Opeth albums coz I think they are amazing, I wanna read more books - I just finished an Arthur Hailey book last night and it was splendid, and I want to spend some more time on my guitaring skills which sadly to say I suck at ... :-) )

Happy New Year

Here's wishing everyone a Happy New Year. A new article will be up soon ...

The Mirandastics

Song for the mood: Kishore Kumar and Manna Dey - Yeh Dosti ham nahin todenge

Once upon a time there were a bunch of guys, friends for a long long time, who went to Tirupati and keeping in mind the temple traditions got their heads 'tonsured' (this is for Vijay). They always ate, played and moved together so they were quite a sight - 4 or 5 clean shaven heads walking together in a single file ... just fantastic! If you remember the old Mirinda ads you can guess by now why they were named the 'Mirandastics'.

Ok, before I proceed further, let me set the mood for this post. The Mirandastics are great friends of mine. They are quite a bunch; there is a lot of camaraderie amongst them. They are all very warm and helpful by nature. Although they speak in Telugu all the time, one of them speaks Telugu even with me (if you know them you can easily guess who it might be), and I don't understand a single word of it ... I never feel like an outsider whenever I am with them. In fact just a couple days days back I was out for a treat hosted by a Mirandastic, it was great ... :-)

Now lets get down to the bashing :-D

The Mirandastics are the most feared gang in college, yes like a true gang they always move together. They all stay on the top floor of my hostel building and you should see how scared people, especially juniors, are to go to that floor. Heck, I was scared to go to their part of the hostel before I got friendly with them.

As I said, the Mirandastics are very warm and friendly ... you can always feel their friendship. In their punches when they say 'HI'. In the punches again, when they say 'See You'. As I said, you can feel it. On these cold winter days when a Mirandastic greets me, my first reaction is a defensive stance that protects my face and stomach followed by a foot long back leap. I do say Hi, of course I do! But that's after the slight Muhammad Ali impression. Not that it helps, I still get punched. Their love especially pours out on birthdays. Birthdays bumps are served lavishly. I get kicked for just about anything. I once got kicked for getting good grades in the exam ... I was ambushed by a Mirandastic in the canteen and he along with Pranav twisted me around like merry-go-round while kicking me, at the end of which I was too dazed to realize that I had gotten close to 50 kicks! Yes, they counted. Another recent kicking was when my internship was confirmed. Very touching indeed ... :-)

The Mirandastics, apart from being a gang, are great individuals. There's Ravindra, the self-proclaimed "busiest lazy guy in the world". You always know when Ravindra is around, trust me. Plus he is a good photographer. Shashank is the quiet guy, as cool as ice. Always calm and collected no matter what the situation. Ravikanth is known as the 'Director'. He can make great videos, he has already made a few for the college. Nareen, and I have told him this, is the most mischievious guy ... and he does it so discreetly you'll never know. Rakesh looks quiet, but then he'll pull a joke on you when you least expect it. Rajashekar sleeps the whole day, wakes up at strange hours and goes to work when everyone's in neverland ... I meet him for breakfast in the morning many times ... difference being it is breakfast for me and for him it is a bedtime snack. Vikrant is the foodie. Plus he has a bike that no one except he can drive ... in fact only he can start it.

Whew! I can't write enough about these guys. The innumerable occasions playing marathon 12+ hour sessions of Call Of Duty multiplayer in the college lab would've been very dull without them. Here's a piece of advice, never put more than 3 Mirandastics in a single team when playing COD ... you'll lose. Forget the game for a bit ... the amount of antics and the edge-of-a-cliff rush that they bring to the game is fun! You can't stand in the room if you're not playing. I am not saying someone will chase you away. You'll go mad with the amount of noise! The celebrations that follow after a victory are nothing short of a battle march...

Do you know any such Mirandastics? If you don't then you are losing out on something. College life is fun when you have such folks around. They are a big part of whatever memories I carry with me when leaving this place ... if you ever get kicked so much, you won't forget either :-)