That's why we eat paan ... oh Newtonwa ...

Song for the mood: Khaike Paan Banaraswala - Kishore Kumar

Overheard in the elevator, yesterday.

"You know Newton right?"

"Of course!"

"Ok ok, so you would be knowing about his First Law ..."

"What?"

"Newton's First Law. You know, the one about ... "

"Ya ya, so what about it?"

" ... bodies in rest or motion. A body that is in motion continues to be in motion ... and etc etc"

"Huh ... hmmm ... err ... "

"Sooo, when we eat we are technically in motion. Our body is moving, internally"

"... ok ..."

"And that is why after lunch we have to slowly bring it to rest"

"Is that so?"

"And that is why we eat paan ... to slowly bring the body to rest"

Bet you didn't know that! Did you?

A day at a time

Song for the mood: Neele Gagan Ke Talein - Mohd. Rafi

Picture this - its early in the morning, about 6:30 or 7:00 am. You are looking out into the morning sun as he too breaks his sleep, stretching out his rays one at a time. A light breeze has wrapped you within itself. You can hear the sweet gurgling sound of water in the stream. You feel calm. Composed. Still drowsy. The breeze gets stronger, you shiver a bit but its enjoyable, especially with the hot tea that you are sipping peacefully. Aah, the sweet melodies of the stream water ... the sweet smell of the wet earth! The breeze is getting stronger and stronger now. Maybe you need to brace yourself. What's this? The sound of the river has ... gone. Vanished! And what's that strange sound? Clang! Clang! What is happening? More sounds ... humans? Animals? There's that clanging again! And then suddenly, the sun goes out ...

Before you scratch your head, lets give you the real deal:
- It is 6:30 or 7:00 in the morning. The only reason you are up at such an hour is so that you can take a warm water bath before the power cut comes along, which can come at anytime "between 6:00 to 10:00am for public convenience"
- You are sipping a cup of tea. How peacefully you sip it depends on how well did you make it.
- You are standing in the balcony of your first floor apartment block which is so well packed on all sides by other buildings that it is always very calm.
- It is cold at such a time in the morning here in Bengaluru. So cold that the hair oil has become a hair gel. Light breeze my ass!
- Wet earth is the nice little muddy path in front of the building. Yes, muddy which is originally sandy. Then, with the extremely large amounts of washing water thrown out by ladies in the nearby places and overnight rainfall (sometimes) it becomes ... muddy.
- There is a drainage pipe that runs on the side of your building it happens to pass along side the balcony. So anytime, anyone in the entire building flushes his *cough* toilet *cough* you can hear the sweet sound of the water gurgling ...
- There are a lot of bhajiwallas that brave the muddy streets everyday morning. Animals? Read as 'dogs'
- Someone in the nearby vicinity performs puja in the morning. During the same he bangs plates together. Yes, he takes two steel plates and bangs them together ... repeatedly!
- Finally our rising sun. It is the toilet light of the first floor apartment across the wet earth path. No wonder the sun goes out many times in the morning ... ;)

A day at a time. A single day at a time. And every day begins like ... this ... :)

Welcome oh life! We missed you ...

Ever bought a soap?

Song for the mood: Money for Nothing - Dire Straits

Have you ever bought a bar of washing soap? Specifically the one used to wash utensils; plates, spoons etc., have you?

I have moved in into a new place, am no longer at Electronics City. I stay at Airport Road. The one thing for sure after a month now at the new place is, I miss my mom a lot!

So anyways, almost everyday I realize that something is needed and that I have to go and get it. One of the earliest such realizations was concerning a soap for washing dishes. Yeah! Fruits, snacks, smelly plates, stinking kitchen --- you can do the math there.

I ended up at a general store and told the shopkeeper to give me a washing soap. He dutifully handed me a Cinthol bar. I told him I need a utensils washing soap, or the way I said it, in hindi

"bartan ghisne ka sabun"

Somewhere between the parallels of my Hindi and his Kannada, this caused some severe disturbance which prompted him to make a long face, the kind which is usually seen at condolence meetings. Please note that at this point, I wasn't able to recollect names of any washing soap brands. So what I did do was, a small enactment of how we wash dishes...

First I enacted how a plate is washed, he handed me a Harpic toilet cleaner. So, now I enacted how a spoon is washed, upon which the lady standing next to me in the store gave me a very stern look, while the shopkeeper managed a muffled laugh. Why did they laugh? Try enacting how you'll wash a spoon, and you'll get the point. Yeah, you got it now?

Somehow, the other guy in the shop caught hold of the words 'spoon', 'plate' and to my relief he finally handed me a bar of VIM soap. The upside of the episode, embarassing ore otherwise, was that I ended up with all kinds of washing soaps which were all required.

So, ever bought a soap?

Kya aap panchvi paas hain?

Song for the mood: Teacher's Pet - School of Rock

Disclaimer: This has absolutely nothing to do with the television game show of the same name.

"You don't need more than standard 5 maths to solve this puzzle."

This Friday, me and Vijay were chatting for a very long time with Mandar. Anyways, so Mandar recently put up a really cool puzzle on his blog, which, during our long conversation he posed to us. Check out the puzzle first.

Ok, so me and Vijay were Harry and Draco and Mandar naturally became the great wizard (don't say anything). So we started. Below are the excerpts of what Harry and Draco said, while the Great Wizard left speechless owing to our abilities ...

"Mandar, I think this is an infinite series"

No it isn't ...

"See, the same term can't appear on the board twice, so at some point of time you'll exhaust all possible numbers"

Some semblance of hope for Mandar, or was it?

"I got it! I got it! The larger number should progress to the smaller number in steps of the size of the smaller number ... no wait ... but there is a number on the board smaller than the smaller number ... so is that ... smaller?"

Yes. How good are we! 5th standard maths is such a piece of cake!

"I am confused"

Ya.

So Mandar finally had to step in. Patiently, he took a few examples and solved it out for us. It worked out that you need to find the smallest number that is 'somehow' yes somehow related to both of the original numbers and then divide the larger number by that somehow-number to figure out how many turns can be played in total. Accordingly you can decide whether you should play first or your opponent should be made to. So what is this somehow-number?

"Hey it's called a co-prime! Yes, co-prime ... right?"

Wrong.

"Arre moron! Smallest possible number related to both ... its common sense ... it is their LCM"

Wrong again, especially since LCM or Least Common Multiple is larger than or equal to the larger of the two numbers.

"If it is not LCM then it has to be that other common thing yaar. Ummm ... ya! GCD!"

Yes, the somehow-number is the GCD of the two. The whole process of computing the GCD and then dividing the largest number etc etc is called Euclid's Algorithm, which according to Mandar we have studied in Standard 5.

So, kya ham panchvi paas hain?

Hello. Hellooooo ...

Song for the mood: Hello I Love You - Doors

One of the most irritating experiences is when you get a call, you attend it saying "Hello" but no one responds from the other end. Yes, it has happened with everyone ... yesterday, a week ago, maybe a few months ago, once upon a time ... but yes, once in your life you were left saying repeated "Hellooooo"(s) on the phone. At such times it is, although, better to keep down the phone after the first "Hellooooo" so that they don't turn into the choicest of nice and nicer words.

Hello. Hellooooo! Arre Hellooooo!

After having to Hellooooo for about 5-6 times in a single day, it is quite natural to lose your cool.

(Click) I dunno who the f*** is calling ...

Moreover, the prankster at the other end doesn't wait on the line for long. A few seconds that's all. So by the time you are through with the 'Hellooooo' and have begun to user nicer language, the person is no longer on the line.

Hel ... (Click) ... I'll get this f****r next time! Let him call again!

The important thing to remember is, always receive the call by saying, "Hello"

You asshole! You wasted f**k! Can't you mind your own business ... stop wasting my time you piece of s**t! Hello ... Hellooooo ...

Yes, very important. The word 'Hello' ... remember ... lightning doesn't strike the same place too many times.

For the last time ... f**k off! Go get a life man! Don't waste my goddamn time! Get that straight you bloody asshole! Got that, ASSHOLE! ... Hello ... He ... ? ... ! ... :O ... (shit) ... good evening sir ...

The above narration is about a true incident that happened about 6 years ago, and contrary to popular opinion after reading the article, it did not happen to the author. Further, all this is strictly in the context of land line phones ... so please do not put your detective hats on and think of caller IDs. Hello. Hello. Hellooooo ...

Holiday

Song for the mood: Echoes --- Pink Floyd

I woke up a bit late today morning. I didn't give much thought to brushing my teeth and taking a bath and all those 'worldly things'. When I finally did brush me teeth I was watching TV at the same time ... hadn't done that in quite a while. I had my tea leisurely, sipped it so slowly that it had gone cold by the time I finished it. Then out of sheer habit I checked my mail.

Till 9:00 today morning I was starting to get into vacation mode. You know vacation, the time when you actually have enough time to feel bored after wasting enough time in the first place ... yes precisely. Then I read the joining date on my offer letter, 1st July, and realized this is my last vacation ... and it is not starting, it is almost done ...

Now let me interject here before any purist starts to point me to any dictionary meanings. A vacation for me, this far in life, was something that came twice a year, lasting at least a month anytime. There was always enough time for me to begin the vacation as, "I need a long break ... " and end it as, "... but not this long."

Shit!

There is this scene in some movie that I can recall where a woman is panicking just a couple days before her marriage is about to take place and one of the things she says is, "Is he gonna be the last man I ever sleep with?". Well,

"is this the last time I have been 'given' time for the sole purpose of wasting it?"

What I wouldn't do now for those summer vacations again! 2 months of blissful ignorance of everything that is beyond cricket, bicycles and mangoes! The next time if and when a vacation comes it won't be given ... I'll actually be taking it ... sounds so ridiculous that I should kick myself!

Oh, but tis true!

Maybe if I pinch myself hard enough I'll wake up in standard 4th and realize that all this was just a big bad dream I had when I dozed off in math class. Sure, maybe I'll get punished; stand on the bench with your arms in the air ... write 'I won't sleep in class a hundred times on the board' ... get your calendar signed by your parents ... blah blah ... but soon then summer vacations will come around ... 2 months of blissful ignorance of everything that is beyond cricket, bicycles and mangoes ...

Friday the 13th

Song for the mood: On a day like Today --- Bryan Adams

There is a weird notion of 'bad-luck' associated with this date, Friday the 13th. A small read of the wikipedia article will tell you that the day is not feared for any associated history with it apart from the fact that the day 'Friday' and the number '13' are both considered unlucky. Talk about adding up fears! The fear of this day is also called paraskavedekatriaphobia ... I bit my own tongue trying to pronounce it. It is a version (yeah, version) of the fear associated with the number 13 which is known as triskaidekaphobia. I didn't even try to pronounce that one ...

Anyways, bad luck or good luck or something else, Friday the 13th of this month, proved to be good in the end for a lot of us in college. Me and 5 others got selection news for IBM. 3 others got Oracle offers and 1 person got an awesome offer for Texas Instruments. Congratulations to all you guys! (and me too of course ... )

For some interesting reading check out this article on the fear of 13 on mathworld. The most interesting snippet from the article says, in a study conducted by the British Medical Journal which analyzed the relation between health, behavior, and superstition surrounding Friday 13th in the United Kingdom by comparing the ratio of traffic volume to traffic accidents on Friday the 6th and Friday the 13th over a period of years found that,

The risk of hospital admission as a result of a transport accident may be increased by as much as 52%. Staying at home is recommended

Talk about a free holiday ....